I am sorry , I know you missed me

Dear Minions,

I am sorry that I have been away so long. I am sure you have all been lost at sea, or in space, or in cyberspace, without me and my vision and wisdom. I have been busy writing a book called,

MOMMY I AM STILL HUNGRY a guide for dogs that mistake cookies for love and the people who love them.

I expect that this book will change the world.

I have also been concerned about my carbon footprint, so I have written all 672 pages of the book, nay, tome, on junk mail envelopes. My plan to remain "green " when publishing this tome is based on having illuminators copy the entire text by hand, including beautiful illustrations, all on recycled paper with soy based inks and drawn by quills from naturally shedding, renewable fowl.

My first thought was to apply for a grant for the government to pay all the people that will be employed by my new publishing method, and I still might, but I think the best thing would be to start a new religion, and promise my followers some sort of salvation or enlightenment as payment for their work.

The individual books will be very expensive, but when people realize that they are "green" and hand made by "artisan's", possible "special need's" or "at-risk" artisan's, possibly recovering mushroom addicts, or just mushroom addicts ( which would work into my religious conversion idea),

well I think some people will find these books very appealing, and definitely collectors items.

My monks will wear red hats.

So, welcome back, and please let me know if you have neat handwriting, artistic ability is a plus, can you draw Binky?

ps does anyone know how to get on Oprah?

Thanks!